Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Anticipate Together

Do you remember what it felt like to anticipate Christmas as a kid? How about dates and dances when you were younger. Allow yourself to anticipate again and invite your spouse or significant other to do so with you.


Friday, March 9, 2012

Tell Her/Him About It....

"... tell her all your crazy dreams. Give her every reason to accept that you're for real" Yes, these are some lyrics from Billy Joel's "Tell her about it" but those words ring true.

Life has a way of whisking us away to a place of repetition, deadlines, and grown up responsibilities that seem to squeeze out many other important things in life... like spending time with the one you love... like spending QUALITY time with the one you love.

Have you ever had a day where you go to work, go to meetings, cart the kids around, take phone calls, answer emails, cook, clean, take out trash, defrag your hard drive, upload new blogs to your smartphone, upload a new profile picture, play Angry Birds and as you are getting ready for bed you notice your significant other is there and you smile and say "oh, hi"? Then string many of those days together in a row. Does this sound familiar? If so, this message is for you.

The first step to doing something special for the two of you is simply just to tell her/him about it. Get the creative juices flowing of what you want to do, where you want to go, and the experience you wish to have with each other.

It's all about communicating. As soon as my wife wakes up from her nap on the couch where she is resting from an incredibly wonderful yet exhausting week, I'm going to tell her about the B&B with scenic trails near an Italian restaurant/winery that I want us to go to in a couple months. What is the get away or date night idea that you have? Go share that idea with your significant other right now. Don't wait or life's itinerary will replace yours.

Get out together and reconnect!

Monday, February 20, 2012

The groundhog was wrong. Are you getting ready to get out?

Do you remember some of the things you and your spouse used to do? Skiing? Kayaking? Hiking? Wine Tasting? Are those some of the ways you initially connected? You found things you both liked or were at least willing to try and you just went out and tried them. My wife and I used to camp, mt. bike and run a lot. Now… not so much. We still do those things but not as often as we used to. That doesn’t mean those things are less important. In fact, they are even more special now. Those activities are special occasions to us because of our hectic schedules. But, when we get a chance to get out together and do those things, we reconnect and enjoy the moment.

As the weather starts to break, have you begun to day dream about that first kayak excursion of the year? Are you eyeballing some campsites you’ve never been to? What about that trip that you have planned? Do you have a special adventure planned yet? More importantly are you sharing this anticipation with your spouse and inviting him/her in? Not only can you share in the activity, but share in the anticipation together, it will make it that much more fun and rewarding.

So, what are you planning? What are the big excursions you are planning to do with your spouse, just the two of you? Are you going to Hawaii to do all the things that the islands have available? Or are you heading out to some local caverns and doing some spelunking? Feel free to share some of those things in the comments. Or, if you need ideas, feel free to see what others are planning and maybe that will spark some ideas.

Have fun and get out together!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Valentine’s Day All Year Round?

It is here. Each year countless couples will go out on a date to celebrate Valentine’s Day. If you really look at the heart of it (pun intended), essentially they celebrating their relationships by buying gifts, exchanging cards, giving chocolate, having flowers delivered, and going out on a date usually to a restaurant. For a lot of couples, this might be one of the very few nights each year that they allow themselves to celebrate their relationship. Maybe if they are married they will celebrate their anniversary. So, if they are married there are two nights each year. If they have young children, maybe it is even less than that.

What if couples made it a point to celebrate their relationship once every three months, or once a month, or twice a month or weekly? I know it is hard to focus on each other especially if you are married with children or you have crazy work schedules or you are super involved in organizations or sports.

After our first son was born, my wife and I only went out on one date in nearly a one year span. After a while, it almost felt like we forgot how wonderful each other was and how much we appreciated time together. We didn’t purposefully stop doing things together, it just happened. And, it happens to many couples.

Fast forward to now. We will soon have three children running around but we have made it a point to somehow, one way or another, get out twice per month. At the beginning of each month we schedule our date nights in advance. We get out of the house together, just the two of us and reconnect. Sometimes it’s the standard dinner date, sometimes we kayak, or mountain bike, or shop, or we just wander around mindlessly. It doesn’t matter what we do, we get out together and celebrate being together.

Why not make it a point to get out with your significant other twice per week and celebrate yourselves? It doesn’t matter what you do, it just has to be something you can do together. If you are strapped for cash, just going on a walk or even sit on the back patio after the kids are asleep can be rewarding and refill your relationship.

Schedule time together purposefully and celebrate Valentine’s Day… celebrate your relationship all year round.

Monday, January 30, 2012

If “normal people” call you crazy, go with it!

Have you ever packed up the family and drove halfway across the country for a week just to experience a new city? Have you ever ran a marathon just to say you have? Have you ever tried a new adventure, like rappelling, or windsurfing, or white water rafting, just because it looked cool? Has anyone ever told you that YOU are CRAZY?

Maybe it’s family, friends, or coworkers telling you that you are crazy. It doesn’t matter. Just go with it! You have the spirit of an adventurer and that is meaningful and core to who you are, so just embrace it. Enjoy when others call you “crazy” or when they question your ability to participate in a certain adventure, or they tell you “white water rafting is dangerous”, so is getting in your car and driving to the grocery store, what’s their point? It’s easy for people to sit on their couch, mute their tv and pass judgment on you for a few minutes, before getting back to watching the latest cable reality show. That is okay, it is your life and you live it your way and they will live their life their way. Get out! Have fun! Live!

The next time someone tells you that you are crazy… look at them and smile and say “I know.”